millennialgeneration

To investigate this entry, I googled Jewish dating and 685,000 matches came up, most of them advertising dating websites specifically for single Jewish people.  Some websites specialized in creating successful Jewish marriages, while others were simply networking sites. It made me wonder:  is there a market for these sights among millennials?  What do Jewish millennials think about dating and religion? 

To investigate, I called a friend who is a 25 year old, Jewish, female living (and dating) in New York City.  She had some insights into dating within and outside of her religion and expressed the differences she shares with other Jewish females her age based on sect, background, dating philosophy, and opinion.  

I don’t pretend to generalize my friend’s opinion as a statement from the Jewish community, but I hope to merely provide one interesting viewpoint on Jewish Millennial Dating.

Q:  Is it important to you that you date someone of your own religion?

A:  Sort of.  There’s not a lot Jewish reform activities going on for single people in their twenties and thirties who don’t have kids, so it’s a way to do a lot of Jewish activities:  to make friends or date other Jewish people.  I guess I’m more concerned with whom I marry and have children.

Q:  When you get to the point of marriage, will religion become important?

A:  It is a factor.  If the person I happen to find isn’t Jewish, I wouldn’t turn him down, but I think that it would be really nice to marry someone of my own religion.  Part of my attitude comes from the way I’m raised because my parents never uttered anything about who I should marry or if I should marry. My temple was also open to people who weren’t practicing or were from other faiths. I have seen families of mixed religion and I’ve seen that they can maintain religious traditions… It’s nice to see that people can marry who they fall in love with and maintain their religion.  I feel that, when I have children, I have the right to raise them with a Jewish education.  They can be educated with another religion as well, but it’s pretty non-negotiable, at least right now, that they be raised with a Jewish education.  I’m not threatened by another religion.  I’d rather have a household with two or three or five than none.

Q:  Have you dated outside of your religion? 

A: I’ve dated people with no religious upbringing, with a Christian upbringing and with a Jewish upbringing.  I don’t think I can judge which relationship was easier or more difficult because they were all different.

Q:  Is it hard to find people who share your beliefs?

A: I guess that it’s hard to find Jewish singles because many Reform Jews are not my age.  When I do go to a Jewish event it seems that the people who go to the events are more observant than me.  I’m very picky [about who I date] to begin with. My philosophy in general is that I don’t seek people out.  If I bump into people, I bump into people.  I don’t go anywhere to meet guys, I just do what I do.

Q:  Have you ever used Jdate or another Jewish Singles website?  Do you know someone who has?

I haven’t, but I do know people who go on Jdate. I know someone who does it regularly and it’s hit or miss.  Once, when I went to a [Jewish] event, my friend who uses Jdate wanted to hide from a guy that she met [through the website].  I thought that it was kind of funny and notable.  I think that it means that at our age group there’s not a large group of people who are doing online dating.  Not that I know because I have personal experience, but I think that online dating becomes more helpful when you’re looking for a long-term, serious relationship. 

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